Here is a thing I fought against because it felt like a tired metaphor. But then I printed it and hung it on the wall of my creative nook a few months ago because even tired metaphors can still be true. Here’s to pushing off into the middle and celebrating this year. Amen.

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

 Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.

 At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

 The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

– a Hopi Elder Prayer

1. Apartments were scarce in town, especially on such short notice. None of the places I called had vacancies, and I was starting to feel panicked when I got on the phone with Mr. Beech. At first he said he didn’t have anything available, but for whatever reason he took an interest in me — he asked about my job, found out I was from Nashville by way of Oklahoma and told me all about taking trips with his wife in their RV. I guess he decided that he liked the sound of me because he told me he might have a tiny studio about to open up and that I should call back tomorrow. I signed the lease on December 6th, but he only charged me half a month’s rent and worked out a 6 month lease for me. When I finally told him about getting divorced he said the same thing happened to his daughter but then her life turned out better than she’d imagined. And when we talked on the phone he always called me “girl.”

2. Mrs. Neely was our landlord. When M and I moved to town, she and her husband took us to dinner and gave us a tour. She was a veteran Home Ec. teacher in the same school district I was in, so whenever I went to pay rent we had long chats about school and took me under her wing a bit — she and her grandkids swam in our pool and we took food when her mom died. It was a small town and she owned the house we lived in, so when I had to tell her I was moving out, she already knew why. The last time I saw her, we sat at her kitchen table for a long time talking about life and our plans for the future. I was doing a great job of being matter-of-fact and was about to leave when she held both of my hands, looked into my eyes, and said, “I want you to have more happiness than you can hold with both hands.” And since that’s what I wanted, too, I cried shamelessly.

3. On February 25th we had to go to court to finalize our divorce. After M left, my lawyer and I walked back to his office get copies of some documents I would need. While we waited on his secretary, he sat me down, made me a cup of coffee, and told me about other young women who had come through his office in the same predicament – that we all deserved better and would find better. He basically told me not to beat myself up about it – that I was great and any man would be lucky to have me. which I needed to hear then. (Then he invited me to the singles class at his church, but I forgave him for that.)

An invitation to our brothers and sisters in Christ from members of the Nashville Christian faith community who are participating in Occupy Nashville

 Because we believe that all of the Law and the Prophets hang on the two greatest commandments to love God with our whole heart, soul, and mind, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves;

Because we believe that we are called to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, and bury the dead;

Because we believe that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is good news to the poor, freedom for the prisoners, sight for the blind and release for the oppressed;

Because we believe that no one can serve two masters, and therefore, we cannot serve both God and money;

Because we believe that in the beloved community that there is no longer Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female;

Because we believe that we are called to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us;

Because we believe that faith without works is dead;

We have made the decision to celebrate the good news of Jesus Christ by participating in Occupy Nashville. As followers of Jesus, we can no longer sit idly by while millions of our sisters and brothers, children made in the image of God, suffer needlessly due to greed.

When the top 1% of households in this country controls 38.1% of the total wealth, we do not love our neighbors as ourselves.

When the top 10% of households in this country controls over 70% of the total wealth, we do not love our neighbors as ourselves.

When the bottom 40% of households in this country controls only 0.2% of the total wealth, we do not love our neighbors as ourselves.

When the false doctrine of corporate personhood is perpetrated in a manner that allows corporate control of the political process, we do not love our neighbors as ourselves.

When over 46 million Americans are living in poverty, we do not love our neighbors as ourselves.

When at least 1 in 6 Americans is without health insurance, we do not love our neighbors as ourselves.

When we fail to love our neighbors as ourselves, we do not love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Therefore, we invite all Christian leaders and followers of Jesus the Christ to join us in Legislative Plaza, or to join with us in spirit by signing this statement of faith and support.  We do this because we believe another world is possible. We believe the Kingdom of God is among us.

And here are a few pictures:

me, cuffed and limp like spaghetti on arrest night #2

meditation circle on the plaza

Vigil

¡Cuentasélo a tu abuela! : Tell it to your grandma. (i.e. you’re pulling my leg)

No tiene dos dedos de frente. : He doesn’t have two fingers of forehead (i.e. peabrain)

El que mal canta, bien le suena. : He who sings badly likes what he hears.

¡Cómprate un calvo y péinalo! : Buy a bald man and comb him/his hair. (i.e. Beat it.)

Maybe I’ll start using the English versions in everyday conversation and see what happens.Will be on the lookout for more.

I’m especially keyed up about life tonight because I met a bunch of great new people. I found a meetup group today that is dedicated to helping Nashville transition into sustainable living (based on this movement). It sounded like exactly the sort of community I have been looking to get involved in, so I made some salsa, went to their potluck, and learned a bit about fall/winter gardening. I was definitely the only person there under 40, and it was great. I usually feel more comfortable with oldish people anyway, and these were exactly the sort of oldish people I hope to be like someday. They haven’t checked out or let the world move on without them. There were a bunch of people my grandparents’ age discussing everything from beets & healthy bee colonies to community organizing and our society’s need for transformation and imagination in a time of unprecedented global uncertainty . . . . . They were passionate and inspiring. And even though it’s not one of my strengths, I made conversation with strangers and began what I hope will be many new friendships with very wise people.

I’m painting and sewing again. Yesterday I took my first tango class and signed up for Spanish lessons. I’m saying, “Yes.”

Because why not do the things I want most deeply to do? The only reason is fear — which is a shit reason, so I’m trying to give it up.

2. After school on Thursday, I had to stop by M’s house to pay my part of our last phone bill (because yes, it has taken that long to effectively deal with the friendly customer service staff of Verizon. . .). That was the last thing, I think. We didn’t meet through mutual friends. Our families aren’t connected. We don’t even have things in common, as it turns out, that would give us a reason to ever see each other again. I’m leaving in a couple of weeks, for good, so I told him to take care. I need to say how strange that is — here is someone who knew most all of my secrets & who I considered to be my other half for quite awhile, and there is a good chance that we’ll go out into the universe and never see each other again. I’m ok about it and all, but I don’t really have words (besides vulnerable) to describe the weirdness of it all.

3. After that, I decided on a whim to drive to Memphis for a Salsa class. I’d gone to my first Salsa club the previous weekend and, despite the patient guidance of my dancing date, looked ridiculous the whole time. But I’m determined that dancing WILL be part of my life now, so I went to work on it. Even though I didn’t know anyone there and I was totally out of my element, I made some progress. Then I had a lovely coffee date with myself. As it turns out, I’m good company. Ha.

A few months ago, dear Rebecca S. told me single dates were a very healthy idea. I didn’t really buy it at the time, but she was right. I had such a great time that I went out with myself again today, to Oxford. yes yes yes. And in the women’s bathroom of Squarebooks, I read this lovely piece:

If I Had My Life to Live Over

Nadine Stair

If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

You just have to watch it, but the short version goes like this — more and more women are becoming convinced that pornstar vaginas are what’s normal and natural, and are thus disatisfied with their own God-given awesome parts & having PLASTIC SURGERY! Not kidding — just having labias sliced right off. I sort of knew about this procedure already, but the film was a real heartbreaking eye-opener. So your assignment is 1. Watch the movie (it’s only about an hour long), and 2. If you have a vagina, love it the way it is.

That is all.

so here is one I found especially pleasing:

God Says Yes To Me

by Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic

and she said yes

I asked her if it was okay to be short

and she said it sure is

I asked her if I could wear nail polish

or not wear nail polish

and she said honey

she calls me that sometimes

she said you can do just exactly what you want to

Thanks God I said

And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph my letters

Sweetcakes God said

who knows where she picked that up

what I’m telling you is

Yes Yes Yes

Ninjas

By Terrell

Sneaking in the night

Hiding in the trees

Masks on their faces

Hiding behind their enemies

Ninjas are everywhere and

Nowhere to be seen.

Fragrant Flowers

By Tiykeidra

On a Saturday morning

In my pajamas

Roses and flowers growing in the ground

Smiling at birds flying in the air

Nature all around me

Entering my nose,

Smelling like love

Enjoying my day with my friends

While I’m still a little girl

Prayer for Our Daughters by Mark Jarman.